Admirably said. Men intuit that patriarchy’s best weapon is the power to define reality, with words that support and veil the toxic status quo. That’s why those guys have to have those arguments — and we have to answer them, not merely with counter-arguments, but with a positive alternative version of reality that is active, cooperative, just, and nontoxic.

And bless those allies’ hearts, but sometimes they just bug me. How many times must we gently remind them of the obvious? Please: It’s not about you.

Keep the faith.