Photo by Wilhelm Gunkel on Unsplash

God Saw We Were Flunking Gratitude And Sent Us To Our Rooms

Time to think about your behavior, kiddo

So it’s Thanksgiving season again, God. As You know — ah, yes, well of course You know — I mean — ah, nuts. I do that every time, don’t I? Let me start over.

Dear Sir or Madam God: I just want to apologize in advance for the annual torrent of “thanks” you’re about to hear from Your creatures, particularly some of us over-privileged, under-disciplined humans.

Oof. We really crank it up in November, don’t we? All the rest of the year, it’s peeve and pout, but suddenly in November, we’re all competing for Most Appreciative.

And I suppose we have good intentions, and I’m trying to gracious about it — but just between You and me, those “prayers of thanksgiving” still rub me the wrong way. I don’t know how You stand it.

I remember talking to You all about it last year:

Look Out, G*D — We’re About to Give Thanks

Well, a year later, and I’m still annoyed by the way people thank You for stuff they went out and hustled for themselves. Or…