Lovely reality-check for anyone who documents their, um, whole life. It was helpful to read through your process change — we need reminders that processes DO change, and must change, to fit different circumstances.
Like others, I’ve gone through perhaps dozens of these processes, which I think of as a continual effort to make order-out-of-chaos (which my daughter and I have shortened to “the old O out of C thing”).
Anyhow — journals galore, for decades, sometimes daily and sometimes PRN; organizers; wall calendars; pocket calendars; gorgeous desk calendars with art prints on the facing glossy pages, across from a week’s outline that gives you a1" deep rectangle per day; free-form notebooks that I have parsed in all kinds of way; grid tablets (I love those heavy duty grid tablets) with lists that morph as yours have done. (I congratulated myself when I realized I could actually draw a little check-box to the left of each item on the list, so that I could literally “check things off” my list. I have made master lists, meta lists, portable, post-it mini-lists, electronic lists on electronic calendars. Haven’t tried “bullet journals” yet, but I may not, since I am probably about to start an unlisted phase again. Because, honestly, I’m tired!
I have regretted putting those harsh expectations on myself, to be sure. And, as you point out, the to-do lists don’t stop if you don’t stop them, because they will take you hostage if you let them.
On the other hand…. recently, I was trying to make a decision about whether to return to a line of work I had last been involved in some 15 years ago. I got out my old documents and notebooks concerning that work, and found… some lists I had saved. This little folder contained a set of lists I had made (on grid paper) that contained, not only the steps I had to take to enter that profession, but an outline of the discernment process I had gone through. It was like a little time capsule, and I was startled and unnerved to see in black and white how I had been here before.
So… I’m sure I won’t give up “the old O out of C thing.” Nor will you, perhaps, since you have now reminded yourself that in a way you are writing your life as you go.
Blessings on your art and your efforts and your sharing.
