Out of the Wilderness, Into the Wild
When everything changes, you change
When a life partner, love partner, of 45 years dies on you, everything changes. At least it has for me. And that same kind of wild change can happen with any major, wrenching loss or shift in reality. The spiritual-life-as-wilderness metaphor is a fine journey. We make it with a tribe of others — with friends, or with congregations — and I was lucky enough to travel the wilderness with my person, a delightful, imperfect, deeply decent and loving person, who sojourned with me all that way (and could cook, too. Sorry about the pot pies the other night, sweetheart.)
But I’m no longer in the wilderness. Now I’m in the wild.
A loss this great means all bets are off, kids, and this message is for anyone who is also journeying in the wild. We are “growing with grief,” sure, but don’t tell me that or I will become testy, because that’s not yours to say. And I’ll tell you that to your face, because we do truthtelling in the wild. It is the one privilege afforded those who mourn: the right to finally say things that are true.
This message is for those who labor doing the work of the widower, and doing it alone because it must be done alone, no matter how many dear ones offer to help. Thank you, dear ones, but you can’t…
